You did not love me
Like I wanted.
Listening without interrupting,
Asking without teaching,
Seeking my heart without blinding me
I was hoping for understanding,
Deep and rich as a five-course meal.
I was hoping for companionship
In tracing my heart's wanderings.
I was hoping for curiosity
In exploring my unknown.
And I was hoping for acceptance
Regardless of what was found.
But you didn't give me what I needed
Like water in a desert
Like a buoy when drowning.
I was drowning,
And it took clinging to you
To realize you were drowning too.
I see now that we are the same—
Bearing different burdens
And straining different muscles
But floundering in the same violent sea.
And as long as we cast about untethered
The struggle will merely exasperate you and me.
O when did I let go of that tether,
Which round my waist had been tied?
When did I start clinging to you
Hoping you’d keep me safe and alive?
I release you from holding me up,
I recall now that you can't.
I confess I was seeking a savior
In one just as leaden as me.
So now let us tie him about us,
Round our hearts and our minds and our souls
Let us cling to the one—
the only one—
Whose love will never grow cold,
Whose understanding is deeper than the sea,
Whose companionship and interest will never flinch
Nor tire to discover what might be found within.