I wrote this to talk to my kids about what to do when they see each other leaving toys out or calling names or not using soap when washing hands. I didn't write this as a guide on what they should do if they're playing with matches or stealing one another's stuff.
What Do You Do When You See Someone Doing Something Wrong:
Option 1: Whistle Blow—Tell the person what they did. "You left the light on." "You were only supposed to take one cookie." "You got that answer wrong." "You just cut in line!"
Possible results: the offender hears you out, sees their wrong, and fixes it. (HA!) This is highly unlikely. A more possible result is that the offender becomes defensive and angry because they feel their goodness or pride or freedom is under attack. Animosity between the offender and the whistle blower shall probably develop even if the whistle blower informs the miscreant of their offense in a gentle and kind way. Lastly, the whistle blower will invite the same kind of criticism upon him or herself, which is a most unpleasant consequence.
Option 2: Tattle-Tell—To a parent, "Mommy, he went into my room without asking permission."
Possible results: the parent will understand the situation and reprimand the offender appropriately (HA!) Again, this is highly unlikely, especially if the offense is minor or the parent doesn't care. What is more likely to happen is the parent will be annoyed at the tattle-teller &/or will just repeat basic household instructions that are already known by all parties involved: "Use soap." "Put away your own toys." "Stop bugging your sister," but no real action or instruction will take place.
And again, animosity between the offender and the tattle-teller will most likely occur.
Option 3: Make Them Do It—As often is the case, the older sibling sees the younger one disobeying, and they knows they're strong enough to make their weaker sibling obey.
Possible results: I'm pretty sure the only result in this scenario is much kicking and screaming and Mom or Dad rushing in yelling, "What are you doing! Both of you to your rooms!" Animosity. Bruises. Name calling. Nobody wins.
Option 4: Do Nothing—Do not inform the offender or parent about the supposed offense.
Possible results: Seemingly nothing will happen and its possible that no animosity will arise. However, if the witness is merely keeping the offense stored up inside him or her while keeping track of the wrongs, the animosity will still occur, but it will seep out in duplicitous statements oozing resentment and insincerity and hypocriticalness. See Pharisees.
Option 5: Stop Caring—Decide that the broken rule isn't that big of a deal, or that it's normal and thus acceptable to break these rules.
Possible results: The witness is then at risk of joining the offender in the activity as they no longer see it is wrong. The witness also misses out on being part of any sort of growth of development in themselves or the offender. And lastly, the witness grows apathetic and numb to acts of right and wrong.
Option 6: Pray to God—Tell no one except God about it and ask him to make things right.
Possible results: God acts! He sees the wrong and allows that wrong to effect the offender in its proper time. His Holy Spirit speaks to the offender and tells them what they did wrong. The offender now has the freedom and the time to feel convicted about what they did and confess or repent. Also, the unseen spiritual powers go to war over this soul and their propensity to sin!
More on teaching kids to work things out: The Argument Cycle
More on injustices: All the Injustices Made Right, Analyzing the Misuse of Authority
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