The Archaic Trust

For most of us when we were children we trusted our parents to protect and love and, to a certain degree, give us the freedom to make our own choices. We grew up looking to them to meet these needs until we were grown. Some of us realized our parents couldn't meet these needs and stopped looking to them rather early on.

When we moved out, we learned to fulfill our own needs with this newfound freedom called adulthood. At first that freedom was wonderful and new! We could do as we liked and be in charge of ourselves. 

However, as time passed, we realized that looking out for ourselves wasn't all that exciting or easy. We had to stand up for ourselves, worry about keeping our jobs and our living situations. We had to make our own schedules and learn to interact with adults who didn't love us like our parents did. All the support and archaic trust was gone, and we began to doubt ourselves and fear the world.

We believed that it was up to us to keep ourselves safe and loved and to suffer the consequences of our choices. We all believed it without understanding how subtly the lie crept in. If I don't behave a certain way, I won't be loved. If I don't plan ahead and prepare, I won't be safe. If I don't stay strong, I will be walked upon. If I don't speak up and judge correctly or if I do speak up and make a stand, then the right things won't happen. 

Brick by brick, we began to transfer onto our backs what we believed our parents carried on their backs for us. We heaped the bricks higher and higher as we married and birthed babies and paid off school debts. We made carts to carry the load. And as we pulled with all our might, we found life a great burden.

How did we get to this place? We are weighed down, bowed low, old of spirit because the cares of life have become too much. We believed the lie that we're in charge of our own welfare. We thought that if we didn't do things right, our lives would fall apart. 

But this isn't true. We lost something back in childhood besides a hopeful outlook on life. We lost that archaic trust. We lost it because we failed to transfer that trust from our parents to God. Instead we believed that all this pushing and prodding and duty and stifling of desires was the right thing to do; it was the Christian thing. Isn't that what it means to die to self? To bear these burdens for my spouse and family?

Absolutely not! To die to myself means to stop thinking I am so necessary and that all the outcomes depend on my choices. The more I believe it is all up to me, the more I obsess with measuring my own moral muscle and the less I trust what Christ has already done and is doing right now.

But when I wait and watch to see what He does and is doing, He can then invite me into it, invite me into the dance, so to speak.

More on relaxing in Christ: I'm Here. You're Safe & Parenting Without the Pressure