GHFC Mother's Day Testimony

The other day I went for a walk and I asked God for help. I needed some guidance, some new piece wisdom on how to be a better mom. Things were getting ugly around my house. Somehow I’d turned into Mrs. Dursley,—Dudley Dursley’s mom from Harry Potter also known as Aunt Petunia—a whimpering and cowering woman who jumps with fright at her son’s temper tantrums and frantically tries to make him happy.

I don’t like scenes in my house, so I’d been doing some interesting back-bending maneuvers to keep my children from making scenes. Occasionally, I’d go through periods where I was the boss and everyone knew it and consequences were swift and severe, but those periods usually ended with my children having total melt downs at my strict regime and me feeling guilty for asking so much of my children.

So on my morning exercise walk, I asked the Lord to give me some direction and the Holy Spirit very clearly told me, “Teach them God’s ways.”

This clarified so much. Specifically in three areas: the use of God authority, his provision for his children and his loving-kindness.

Let me elaborate. 

For most of my single and married-without-kids life, I thought that God’s authority seen through his giving consequences to people especially in the Old Testament was rather severe.

Like when he was leading the Israelites to the promise land, he sent snakes among them, plagues, fire, the earth opened up and swallowed some of them. Ekk! Seems drastic for just a little complaining. Just a little rebellion. What was the big deal?

But now that I’m a mom, I don’t think God was so severe anymore. Those Israelites deserved it.

In the wilderness, God provided his children with homemade bread from heaven and they were like, “Waaa, I want Quail-Mcnuggets. I want pickles.” Those children were always questioning Moses—who was really like their babysitter. “Who put you in charge, Moses? You’re not the boss of me.” When God brought them to a fertile land flowing with milk and honey, and He promised to give it to them, they were like, “Too scary! My sword is too heavy. Why’d you bring me here? I wanted to stay home. You always make me do things I don’t want to!”

That’s it! I’m turning this car around! No Disneyland! We’re going home and you can go to your room and think about what you just said for 40 years. You can come out when you’re this many. And don’t push out the screen and climb onto the roof either!

God’s authority makes so much more sense now that I’m a mom. He had every right to punish those Israelites, not just because they deserved it but because God has every power and authority to give and take away as he sees fit. 

It’s like he’s the director of this play. He says when actors will walk onto the stage and off. He says when an act is over and when a new one will begin. When the scenery needs to change and when the lights dim. He decides this for every person and country and ruler. He has all dominion and power and authority to act for his own glory and for our good. 

Not only that but God has given some of that authority to mothers. Motherhood is a position of authority. God has given power to moms and dads to teach our kids God’s ways: That stealing has a consequence, that liars aren’t trusted by their friends, that getting revenge continues the fight, that if you squeeze your toothpaste through the screen in the bathroom, you’ve got to clean it up and pay for the toothpaste. 

Giving my kids consequences has been scary for me because I so easily forget that the authority I use isn’t something I have to manufacture myself, but rather it’s given to me from God. I was trying to explain to my kids that they needed to obey me because if they didn’t I was going to go crazy—when really the rules aren’t about my personal preferences or tastes or needs. They’re about what God has said is right and wrong. 

It’s like the mask mandates. I didn’t make up the rule that my kids had to wear a mask to school during COVID, so there was no point their arguing with me. I’m just telling them to do what the school says. Likewise, when I tell my kids to speak respectful to me, when I insist they pay for the things they break or remove themselves to their room to throw a temper tantrum, I teach them these things not because it’s what I prefer, but because God says, obey your mom and dad, don’t steal, and live peacefully with one another. 

But if I let my kids get away with it, if I say, “Well, I’ll spare them this time because I don’t want to make them feel bad, I don’t want a scene. Disciplining is so unsettling,” I am disobeying God. I am failing to teach my children God’s ways, and am guilty of selfish love, preferring a home without dramatic scenes rather than a home that follows God.

It is right for us, moms to use this temporary authority over our children to discipline them and teach them about God’s world.

Now my guess is some of you are cringing because any parent could claim they were were acting on God’s authority and then do whatever they wanted. It has been done by parents, bosses and rulers alike throughout History. In fact anyone who has ever had authority has used it incorrectly. But our unfaithfulness doesn’t cancel out God’s faithfulness. 

God doesn’t distribute children only to the parents who will parent well. There’s no entry test to becoming a parent. It’s a good thing because, I’m pretty sure if there was, I wouldn’t have qualified.

That test would’ve had questions like: On a scale 1-10, how patient are you? Can you tune out high-pitched squeaking noises? What is your first reaction when woken up in the middle of the night? Every night? Multiple times? For years? What’s your anger management strategy? Are you good at planning birthday parties? How well do you give instructions while juggling? How seriously do you take yourself? Are you content without nice things? Are you good at changing your plans, a lot? Do you get queasy at the sight of blood, boogers, barf or pooh? Are you an extrovert? Are you easily sucked into meaningless arguments? Do you have control issues? How well do you deal with repetitive monotonous tasks? Are you okay with being touched, pinched, squeezed, spit-up on, having your hair-pulled and with people bursting in on you in the bathroom, pointing at your pimples and asking, “Mommy, what’s that?” 

If there was a test like that, no one would’ve passed. But God does not give children to people based on how well they’re going to use his authority. He gives liberally for his own glory and for our good: both ours and our children’s.

And what about those who cannot have children? For mothers with babies who die in the womb. Why does God say yes to some and no to others? For each of my three children I also had one that died in the womb. The Lord withholds for the same reason he gives. For his own glory and for our good. Blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)

We trust that God will give us good not based on our merit but his faithfulness. He has promised actually to give us and our children the absolute best: to give us himself, put on like armor, like fancy wedding clothes, like the only proper attire to wear before a holy God.

And if I am trusting that God has a good future in mind for both me and my children, a future that’s preparing me to live eternally with him, I don’t have to worry anymore. God is writing this story and it has a good ending. 

Moms, this means we don’t need to fret or micromanage, even if we don’t know where our grown children are right this second, or how they’ll get out of this trouble they’ve gotten themselves into, or what will become of them when they grow up and they still have this bad habit.

I don’t need to fret about doing my job perfectly so my children will be perfect because that’s God’s job. He makes people perfect. And he already did that for us. That’s how he provides for us.

The roll of perfect parent and perfect child has already been casted and played on stage before God the judge of all, and God applauded that performance. He accepted it. And when I stop believing that my performance as a mom is all up to me, but rather that Jesus has done it and is now doing it through me, I hand to God Jesus’ performance in my stead. And God in his loving-kindness looks at it and says, “I accept this.”

“Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord will never count against them.” (Romans 4:8).

Just last week, I had an ugly morning of parenting. I forgot about using God's authority and let my daughter’s disrespect and sassiness go unchecked until I was livid. Then I exploded in the car on the way to school. I was saying all sorts of really grown up things. Like, “No one is to speak at all or else there will be no more fun in your lives ever again!” Then we get to school where I shouted at my daughter to get out of my car! And I drove off and was alone with myself and the echo of my words. And I thought, “Ugh. This is not good. I don’t think I did this right, Lord. What do you think?” 

And instead of saying, “Yeah, that was bad. What are you thinking? Is that how I treat you, Abby?” God in his loving-kindness said to me like a coach to a child learning to play soccer, where the child just kicked the ball and fell flat on her face, “Stop beating yourself up. That was a good try. Get up off the floor, Abby. Have another go. More disciple at the beginning next time. Don't worry about it. You can apologize to her after school. There’s no shame in that. This is just practice.”

This is a message not just for moms. The pressure is off no matter what we do: at our jobs, with our neighbors or aging parents or employees. What we do isn’t like a one-shot performance or the final test or exclusive tryouts. Jesus already got us on the team.

No, instead, our attempts to live rightly are like a baby learning to walk, wobbling across the floor on unsteady legs because one day that baby will run; or like an eaglet exercising his wings because one day he will fly; or like a lion cub pouncing on a grasshopper because one day he will slay his prey.

Christians practice living like Christ because one day we will be real sons and daughters of God. Mothers, we are just learning to love, to use our authority, and to trust God’s provision because one day we will see everyone in God’s kingdom like our dear own precious children.

Even my standing here in front of you today isn’t the real deal. This is just practice for when we are in Heaven together giving testimony of all the Lord did and has done. So go practice. Use the Lord’s authority, trust his provision, and accept his loving-kindness through Christ who was perfect already for you. Amen.