Ah, I see you are hesitant. Perhaps you may be wondering what to expect from the doctor’s surgery and your stay here in the hospital. Please, take a moment to study the posters on the walls. They depict the proper function of the human body: the respiratory system, cardiovascular system, nervous system, etc.
A comprehensive book of all these diagrams may be found under the chair in front of you. You may notice a striking resemblance between these diagrams and the doctor, our Master Surgeon, and that's because they are one and the same. In fact, these pictures are of the surgeon's own organs, which also happen to be the only ones in working order.
Upon studying these diagrams, you may be overwhelmed with a sense of hopelessness as your own body is far from working order. Have no fear. The Master Surgeon is proficient in diagnostics and reparative surgery, in physical therapy and regenerative growth. There is no disease he cannot cure. There is no mental illness he hasn't seen. There are no missing limbs he hasn't regenerated. Know that if you signed in at the front desk, you will be put to right.
By the way, did you sign in at the front desk? I ask because some people sneak in without doing so and think that simply by being here, they will be cured. Allow me to clarify. This is not the case. You must check in with the front attendant who will enter your name into his appointment book. If you get the uncanny feeling that the front attendant bears a striking resemblance to the Master Surgeon, it is because he is one and the same.
Once your name is entered into his appointment book, your treatment shall commence, even if your condition renders you unable to walk into the operating room. Do not fear. Just call, "Doctor! Doctor!" and the doctor will come to you posthaste. If you are hemophobic, you may close your eyes. If you are afraid of going alone, you may go into surgery in pairs. Husband-wife and friend-friend joint operations are welcome, but make no mistake, the operation will be upon both of you.
Be advised after your initial surgery, patients often feel instantly better and are tempted to think themselves entirely cured. Do not leave the hospital. Your treatment is not complete. The suture on your incisions will not hold for long, and you must undergo your next surgery or end up far worse than before. Return to the waiting room. Follow the doctor's order.
If you are one of those patients who doesn't seem to experience these periods of good operating order in between surgeries, do not be discouraged. The doctor doesn't hate you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You've been entered into the doctor's fast-track treatment program. Strap yourself in. It's going to be a wild gurney ride. But don't fear. Just hold on and bare your heart to him, and he'll take care of the rest.
You may have noticed our staff walking the aisles with refreshments and snacks, post-op instructions and maps of the hospital. They are not a special class of workers. They're here for treatment too. Do not treat them like the doctor. They are not the doctor. They are here to encourage you to enter treatment by undergoing it first themselves. They hope you'll join hands with them across a gurney perhaps and go in together as friends—nay, family.
Do not, I repeat, do not buy plastic scalpels from your fellow patients. Some like to dress up in scrubs and masks and pretend the diagrams on the walls are of themselves. Do not buy their equipment. Do not try to operate on yourself. Do not try to operate on your neighbor, even if he refuses to go in for his scheduled surgeries and is losing blood at a rapid rate. Even if he turns to you, puts his hands around your throat, and shouts, "Heal me!" Do not attempt to operate. Instead, call in a loud voice, "Doctor! Doctor!" and the doctor will come to your aid.
If you grow impatient with the wait time, disgusted with the overhead music, or horrified by the other patients, feel free to try the waiting room down the hall. However, be warned, that waiting room is just as full of sick people as this one. And while the room decor and volunteer staff may be different, the doctor is the same and so is the procedure.
If after frequenting several waiting rooms, you find none to your satisfaction, do not be tempted to turn the hallways into your own personal abode. Waiting in the hallways often leads patients to believe the two contrary views that they are both sicker than and not as bad as those in the waiting rooms. Such patients often seek help from shamans and become more befuddled than ever before. Therefore, do not linger in the hallways. Do not opt out of your next treatment. Return to a waiting room.
Learn to see your case as just as deadly and just as curable as everyone else's. Make every effort to bear with the other patients who exhibit all manner of unsightly symptoms. Be completely humble and gentle with them. For there is one body, this Hospital of God. There is one Spirit of Health we are seeking to live in us. And there is one Master Surgeon who is over all and in all and working through all to see our healing through to the end for his glory forever and ever. Amen.
“How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together
in unity [in God’s hospital!]” From Psalm 133:1
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