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Rewriting the Messages


When we said, “Look at me!”
They said “You ought to be looking at others.”

When we said, “I did it well,”
They said, “But do you see how it could be better?”

When we said, “I need help,”
They said, “In the real world, you have to go without.”

When we said, “I’m afraid,”
They said, “Well, you shouldn't be.”

When we said, “You’ve hurt me,”
They said, “You’ve only yourself to blame.”

When we said, “You’re doing it wrong!”
They said, “Who are you to say?”

And because we knew not where to go for the cure,
Grown from the womb without His spirit woven in,
Over time we learned to limp on in disguise.
Instead of Look at me! it was condescension on others.
Instead of I did it well, it was perfectionisms whip.
Instead of I need help, it was service with expectations.
Instead of I’m afraid, it was withdrawal into isolation.
Instead of You’ve hurt me, it was subversive messages.
Instead of You’re doing it wrong! it was public proclamations.
Years of disguises built up walls of callousness,
And ancient longings were buried under brick and mortar.
No one had privy to those old desperations
Now hidden and muffled and neglected within.
Even we lost the gist of our hearts' encoded message:
A cry for heaven and a unity unbroken.
































For when we say, “Look at me!”
He says, “I know you and like you.”

And when we say, “I did it well.”
He says, “I'm pleased because my son’s blood baptizes you.”

And when we say, “I need help.”
He says, “Everything you need, I give.”

And when we say, “I’m afraid.”
He says, “I am greater.”

When we say, “You’ve hurt me.”
He says, “I hear and understand.”

When we say, “You’re doing it wrong!”
He says, “Your ways are not my ways.
And my thoughts are not your thoughts.

"I am the Lord your God,
And not what you expected.
I won't be contained.
I won't be your idea.
I am wild but I am good.
And your good is coming to pass through this,
Our dialogue together
And the reweaving of your soul."

And if we but let his Word enter,
The walls will buckle and fall,
And a new life begins.


A lot of Enneagram literature claims that we hide our true selves because our parents or caretakers communicated to us that our true selves weren't acceptable. Our parents couldn't adequately address our needs, so we disguised our needs by altering our look. 

I understand what they mean by this, but there's one person who doesn't follow this mold. Jesus had inadequate parents and yet didn't develop an alternative ego. It is not our parents that cause us to hide ourselves, but rather our being disconnected with God at birth. 

What many Enneagram writers fail to see is that the source of our imperfections is rooted in a life started on the wrong foot (original sin), and the cure of our imperfections is a relationship with God (salvation).

When we walk with the Lord, we can then stop shaking our fists at our parents for not being God to us.

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