Here you are! Now it is your turn. The music has begun to play, and here before you is the dance floor. It is a new song. One that has never been heard before. A new song, a new dance.
It is inconsequential that you have seen others go before you; some, as if they were born dancers, and others, over time, as if they were at war. They had different music. They had different partners. You cannot be attuned to their music or their type of man. You must listen to the music that God is playing for you, and the man that God would have you dance with . . . until the music stops.
Many will offer advice, and it will be good. Many have written books, and they are good too. You will see other marriages doing different things, and they are beautiful in their own way. But the knowledge to do this well and with truth and grace at the right moment with the right spirit cannot be found there.
It can only be found in tuning your heart to the Father's music. He can guide you into the dance without fear of mis-stepping. He can teach you peace in the midst of your man's form of chaos. He can be the protection you think your man should give. He can display your beauty in a way your man only sees glimpses of. He can understand your hurt when you don't have the words to name it. Listen to His music. Dance, as it were, with Him.
Then, this awkward and clumsy one-step two-step, tripping over toes, and bumping elbows will be a comedy and not a tragedy because it is all part of the learning and growing, like a child learning to read or an exchange student learning English. This is the learning of love.
Do not be afraid. Listen to the music and dance!
More on married life: What to Do When You Discover You Didn't Marry Superman