It seems to me that encouraging honesty without also encouraging Gospel-responses and gracious actions is foolhardy. Believe me, I've tried it.
For example, I can encourage my son to tell me the truth about whether he completed a task or not, but if he knows that his honesty will result in my lecturing or berating or having him do the task all over again without help, he won't want to confess that he didn't complete the task.
Likewise, I think it's foolhardy to encourage honesty in our churches, if we don't also equally encourage speaking Gospel-truths and graciously serving one another. Again, I've tried being totally honest without being willing to accept Gospel truths or gracious service.
Here's another example. I don't enjoy parenting small children. But if I tell someone in the church this, I will most likely get one of the following responses:
"You don't? But children are wonderful!"
"Don't worry, Honey. I know it's hard now, but this too will pass."
"But once it's over, you'll miss it. You better enjoy it while it lasts."
"Oh, I know how you feel. It is so hard sometimes. It was much easier in my day."
"Just think instead of all the ways children are a blessing."
Perhaps these responses will suffice if I am looking for instant relief or validation, but if I'm seeking godly encouragement in a church body, none of these speak Gospel truths to me. I could get these responses from any person: Christian or non-Christian alike.
What might a Gospel-truth response be?
Maybe: "Enjoyment isn't the goal of parenting small children; God and godliness are the end goal. Seek God first and all these things will be added unto you."
Now this might seem trite or unsympathetic if merely parroted brusquely and left at that, which is why gracious actions are an appropriate accompaniment to Gospel responses. It's appropriate for the speaker of Gospel words to be willing to sacrifice for the hearer in some way: in prayer or an extended time of listening or bringing over a casserole or however the Lord leads.
The hearer of Gospel truths can also respond with gracious action through accepting God's words spoken through a bother or sister in Christ to them. That is, the receiver can be ready to die to themselves and give up whatever it is they're clinging to instead of God: selfishness or greed or addiction to enjoyment.
The receiver might also need to die to themselves by forgiving a fellow Christian for not playing the part of Christ in hearing and responding as Christ would to an honest confession.
It takes a person deeply rooted in God's protection to be able to hear such confessions like "I hate church" or "I don't love my spouse" or "So-and-so is so full of themselves" without falling prey to anger, fear, or anxiety.
It takes a person deeply rooted in God's wisdom to hear people's confessions, recognize the heart's longings, and then to proclaim how God's riches fulfills this.
It takes a person deeply rooted in God's power to appropriately enact love towards a brother or sister in Christ through body language or acts of service or the gift of time.
And it take a person deeply rooted in God's love to honestly confess a struggle to a fellow Christian who might not give Gospel-truth or gracious-love back.
It is a threefold interaction: Honest confession. Gospel truths. Gracious actions. A trifecta of Christian fellowship. And I think the upholding of one is unsustainable without the support of the others.
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