The Funny Things They Say These Days

Rose age 8: "Mommy, what did you tell the men who asked you to marry them? I mean, the guys before Daddy? How did you say no?"

We recently introduced the kids to gnocchi. They didn't care for it. So I mixed the gnocchi with regular pasta and tomato sauce so we could finish it off. But the kids weren't fooled. As I served up Benny (Age 4) he asked, "There no grubs in there?"

Lee (Age 10) said he didn't want to go to school. I asked him what he didn't like about school.
He replied, "School has all these extra rules that we don't have at home."
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like we have to pay attention all the time. And we can't dig holes."

I'm eating lunch with Benny and Rose who are home sick from school. Partway through the meal, Benny sticks his foot high above his head. "Whose foot is tallest?" he asks.

Benny was working on a puzzle as Rose was kissing his neck.

"Rose, don't kiss me!" Benny protested.

"I can't help it!" Rose replied. "You're so adorable!"

"I am not horrible!"

While watching the World Cup, Rose said, "I don't think that guy should be playing soccer. He keeps falling down and getting hurt. Soccer players need to be real tough to play soccer. And he is too weak."

I was telling my kids about how when I was young, I used ketchup like fake blood, smeared it on me and my friends, and then took pictures of ourselves pretending to be dead.

"And what did your parents think of you wasting their ketchup?" Lee asked.

"I was third born. They stopped caring about our wasting their ketchup by that time."

I loaded the Bible and Drama tapes onto the kids ipad, and Rose has been listening to them in her bedroom. I came in to visit and see the line up of her barbies in their new clothes she recently purchased. She looks up at me and asks, "Mommy, do you have more than ten thousand shekels of silver?"

While driving, Benny informs me, "Lellow light means watch out! Maybe it turns red."

I was asking the kids about various characters in the TV show Ninjago. It seems no one in that show dies. Not even the villains. I asked them if the snake leader dies and they said no. I asked them if the genie bad guy dies, and Lee said, "No, he just gets sucked into a teapot."

Rose just got back from a day at Disneyland. It was a high of 59 degrees. She said she liked Mr. Toad's Wild Ride the most because Hell was so nice and warm.

Lee came home singing the song his class will be dancing to for their winter performance. The song goes like this apparently, "You ain't nothing but a hound daughter."

More laughs about kids: More Funny Things, Funny Bits, More Funny Bits