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To the Confidant of the Enneagram 8

What would you have me do?
Fall apart?
Run away?
I can't be like them.
I am a survivor.

This anger is my armor.
And I must renounce sentiment
For it is the chink.
I will make it
Because I can protect myself
From being used,
From injustice,
From what they say about me,
From needing you,
From needing anyone
Who might let me down.

This finger will be my dividing line
Between them and me,
Them and us, if you wish,
Because I will protect you too.
I should like that
Because it is lonely here.

I can teach you to ball up your fists
I can teach you to look fear in the eye,
So that nothing can rule you
As long as you rule it.

Don't tell me about the discord
Between this and my Savior,
Between strength and surrender.
I know it as well as you.
But what would you have me do?
I know no other way.
This is my life blood, my survival.
Had you been down this road,
Had you seen what I've seen,
You would do likewise.

This is my castle.
Do not tear it down
For if I admit that I can't self-protect,
Then I must trust that He can.
If I confess I'm not strong enough,
Then I must unbuckle the plates across my chest.

It is the greatest act of courage
I shall ever do,
For I risk you writing me off
As I have written off others
Upon seeing what's beneath.


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