If fall comes in the form of rain streaks across my window, I’ll welcome it. But if it just brings shorter days, annoying students, and sore throats, never mind! Give me summer or give me death!
Too bad I can’t stop the seasons. We’ve got rain. The ants know it. But I’m willing to put up with them if I can listen to the pattering outside. Phil has put up with the ants marvelously well, but only because he imagines the ants taking our poison to their queen and feeding it to their un-hatched babies.
We keep the raisins and nuts in Ziplocs in our cupboards. The honey and syrup are in the fridge. That’s the problem with living in a converted laundry room. The ants can’t tell that this is a house.
We’ve lived in 336 square feet for a year now, and here are my complaints.
-We’re always tracking dirt into the house.
-If Phil’s watching clips online, I have to too.
-We can’t have more than two people over for dinner.
-I’m afraid that an alley mugger will break into our office/living/dining room window and steal my computer.
-We’ve had yellow rope on our bedroom floor for 365 days—the yellow rope is a temporary trap door opener until we finish it.
-We’ve no carpet to sink my toes into or sit on while doing a project.
-If one countertop is cluttered, the whole house is cluttered.
-The kitchen is really a one-man kitchen.
-If it’s above the second shelf, I have to climb onto the counter, desk, or couch to reach it.
-If I’m cooking, the whole house smells like it.
-If Phil has a friend over or if I have a friend over, the other spouse can’t go into the other room.
-It’s impossible to pass each other on the stairs.
-We can smell the garbage in the alley on trash days.
-I have to crawl over Philip to get out of the bed.
-We can hear our tenants through the bathroom wall and I’m sure they can hear us too.
Okay. Okay. It’s not that bad. But naturally I’ve thought of all the bad things first. So on to the good to balance out all the complaints:
-The kitchen is perfect; I take it out of the fridge, wash it, chop it, and cook it without taking more than two steps.
-We have a huge sink and a dishwasher, so the counters are rarely cluttered with dirty dishes.
-I don’t feel bad about getting rid of ugly decorations, unneeded gadgets, and rarely used clothes; we certainly don’t have extra storage space for them.
-Phil and I are never more than a holler away from each other.
-Our laundry chute is most ingenious.
-The lights alone heat up the whole house.
-It stays pretty cool in the summer, except 113-degree weather.
-I sweep and scour and I’m done cleaning.
-Phil knows where most everything goes.
-My desk faces the window, so I can watch the trees moving in the wind.
-We have multiple blank walls just waiting for the right picture.
-We have space for all we need.
-Every feature of our studio has a story.
-We have three big windows in our bedroom that send in great breezes (except on trash day).
-One tenant or another is always home in case I get attacked.
-We don’t have to pay our mortgage!