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How the Enneagram Numbers Handle Icky Feelings


 One: the Reformer

"Ekk! I'm not supposed to be feeling this way. It's not right! I can't let these feelings out. I'll stuff them in a box and sit on them. There. Done. Those yucky feelings will just have to stay in there. Right? And I'm never going to do this again. This is what produced those icky feelings in the first place. Don't scoff! This is the best way I know how to maintain my idea of goodness."

Two: the Helper

"Golly, I don't know what to do with all these feelings. I certainly can't tell anyone about them. Then I'd look desperate and needy. I'll focusing on your icky emotions instead. It's much easier to feel your emotions than to feel mine. So tell me. What do you feel? How can I help you process through what you’re feeling? And maybe, once you've realize how much I've felt for you, you'll give me back everything I gave to you. Don't scoff. This is the best way I know how to get love."

Three: the Achiever

"Oh gosh! These feelings make me look awful. No one is going to like a person who looks this. Would you like me if I looked like this? What are you feeling? And in particular, what are you feeling about me? Hmmm... not sure that's making me feel better. I know, I can earn your good opinion of me. How about I make you a cake or show you all my accomplishments? Don't stay silent! This is the best way I know how to gain approval."

Four: the Individualist

"Oh feelings! Oh beautiful melancholy feelings! How I long to embrace you and know you and feel life through you! Stay with me here and we will explore the vast regions of my heart together. And maybe if I share you with others, life will make more sense. I will make more sense. 'Gasp!' You rolled your eyes at me! That's it! I'm leaving. And for your information, this is the best way I know how to be understood."

Five: the Observer

"Look at all these peculiar feelings going on inside me right now. How very interesting! I should like to dissect them instead of feel them. I'll cut them off and stick them to boards with pins for later examination and analysis . . . in total privacy. Do try to refrain from grimacing. This is the best way I know of to ensure I have enough energy to interact with this world."

Six: the Loyalist

"Oh my gosh! Where are my people? I've got to tell them exactly what I feel is going to happen next: it's the worst. It's worse than the worst. Everyone is going to hate me and turn on me and then burn down my house. It's just the facts! I can't keep this to myself and stop telling me to calm down! This is the best way I know how to protect myself from danger!"

Seven: the Enthusiast

"Ah! I can't be feeling this! These feelings are sad. Quick! I need a distraction! Think of something happy! Let's plan a party next week or adopt a bunny or start writing a list of all the things we can do next summer! But don't let's look at those awful feelings. This is the best way I know how to not be consumed by that inner darkness."

Eight: the Challenger

"Nope! I'm not keeping any of this inside. Listen up everyone, yes that means you too Mr. Man on the street! This is not right and here is why! Those people need to go over there, and these other people need to shut up! I don't care how that makes you feel. Feelings are not to be trusted. It's the cold facts that you need to realize! My cold facts! And you are going to hear them from me right now. Don't flinch! This is the best way I know how to control my feelings."

Nine: the Peacemaker

"Yes . . . feelings . . . pretty sure I don't like what I'm feeling right now . . . but I'll go along with you anyways. I don't even care anymore. Are we done yet? Good. I'm leaving. I'm too tired to talk anymore. I think I'll go take a nap or watch a movie. I really could care less what you think of this because this is the best way I know how to maintain my inner un-involvement."


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