Abby's Alley

Step One:  Don't panic. You are merely adjusting to how you relate to your new surroundings, much like having to adjust to walking on the moon. Turns out you were living in a dreamland, and this is merely the cold shock of reality overcoming you. You didn't marry superman. Given time, you will be able to navigate this terrain. For now, say this ten times to yourself, "No man is superman but Jesus." Step Two:  Don't fall into the trap of thinking your husband is exceptionally pathetic or grossly sinful. If all of men's flaws were put on display, you would see quite clearly how your husband's are rather common. You have a single window into a single man's heart. Do not fret. No blemish, quirk, or sin is too trivial or too great for God's notice and care. God cares that you are irritated. Step Three:  Do not abuse the privilege of insight into your husband's heart by putting his flaws on display for your girlfriends. You would be mortified

Mothering is hard because . . . . . . on Rose's share day when the children are supposed to bring something to school that begins with the letter "R", and I suggest Rose bring a rose or a sprig of rosemary, and after she agrees and helps me pick the plants and put them in a vase, she decides at the last minute that she'd rather bring a box of raisins. . . . on the morning I have to myself and on a day when Lee is excited to go to school and watch a movie about penguins with his class, he wakes up with a wheezing cough and a runny nose, and despite his pleas to go to school, I must keep him home with me. . . . I lay wide awake in my bed listening to Lee coughing and wondering what more might be done to help him sleep peacefully. And when I can think of nothing else, I then wonder if he is as distraught as me or if he is already asleep. . . . I can hardly get through a day without seeing internet articles or hearing a parent or grandparent or magazine telling

I've just discovered that I’ve been operating on the belief that my goodness was something of my own choosing. I’ve chosen not to kill anyone and not to cheat on my husband. I don't do drugs or chain smoke, nor am I involved in homosexual behavior or theft or lying. And if my neighbor had an ox, I wouldn’t want it.  I have, in fact, been measuring myself much like the rich young ruler did in Luke 18. “All these things I have kept from my youth” (Luke 18:21). And yet how much of my goodness has been a result of positive social pressure or a stable upbringing or fear of prison or a healthy body?   I believe C.S. Lewis says it well. “If you have sound nerves and intelligence and health and popularity and a good upbringing, you are likely to be quite satisfied with your character as it is. . . A certain level of good conduct comes fairly easily to you. You are not one of those wretched creatures who are always being tripped up by sex, or dipsomania, or nervousness, o